i dont know if i’m being cruel to someone who’s grieving over a relationship at times.
i understand it hurts and how one will attempt to find excuses for their partners faults. what i cannot understand is how they seem to be able to find all sorts of excuses for their partners faults in such a way that they blame themselves for every single thing, to the extent that they are so belittled and low on self-esteem to the point that they just dont seem to be the person whom they are suppose to be. and when that happens, and i see it happening, i can’t help but to speak the obvious “truths” from an outsider perspective, in their face. i give little to zero sugarcoating of words and just go straight into making the statements that i think is right.
a talk with a friend last night about his relationship problems allowed me to learn some stuff about a relationship. made a mental note that in my future relationship(s), i must not take whatever my partner did/does for me for granted. the dynamics of having two people together is very different from just being single. as much as we dont want to change ourselves, changes are bound to occur because of the difference and similarities of two individuals. a relationship can either make you or break you. to make things work, changes sometimes seem to be the option. but i have to point out that one’s individuality defines who the person is, not the relationship. a relationship is suppose to allow you to build on your character, find your strengths and weaknesses, understand yourself better and, know how far will your independence will bring you.
i finally understand wat Mum said.. never move into a place with someone unless you both are married. occasional stayovers for awhile is fine, but really moving into a place with someone is not. your personal space is very important. during a fight, at least there’s somewhere you can run back to without having to face the continual tension in the same room. there’s a reason why only married couples move in together. these huge commitments are not to be taken lightly.
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