Wooo!!!! Can’t stop smiling!! Why? Why?! You ask why?! Because my (pardon me) fuckin my exams are fuckin over! And I’m freeeeee fallin!!!!
Hi beer! You’ve been utterly missed! Hey mahjong, are you craving for my touch as much as I’m craving yours?!
HOLA sexy, you are sooo going to be pounced on tonight!
Grand plan for tonight, mahjong and drink till it’s time for my flight to Sydney!
i dont know if i’m being cruel to someone who’s grieving over a relationship at times.
i understand it hurts and how one will attempt to find excuses for their partners faults. what i cannot understand is how they seem to be able to find all sorts of excuses for their partners faults in such a way that they blame themselves for every single thing, to the extent that they are so belittled and low on self-esteem to the point that they just dont seem to be the person whom they are suppose to be. and when that happens, and i see it happening, i can’t help but to speak the obvious “truths” from an outsider perspective, in their face. i give little to zero sugarcoating of words and just go straight into making the statements that i think is right.
a talk with a friend last night about his relationship problems allowed me to learn some stuff about a relationship. made a mental note that in my future relationship(s), i must not take whatever my partner did/does for me for granted. the dynamics of having two people together is very different from just being single. as much as we dont want to change ourselves, changes are bound to occur because of the difference and similarities of two individuals. a relationship can either make you or break you. to make things work, changes sometimes seem to be the option. but i have to point out that one’s individuality defines who the person is, not the relationship. a relationship is suppose to allow you to build on your character, find your strengths and weaknesses, understand yourself better and, know how far will your independence will bring you.
i finally understand wat Mum said.. never move into a place with someone unless you both are married. occasional stayovers for awhile is fine, but really moving into a place with someone is not. your personal space is very important. during a fight, at least there’s somewhere you can run back to without having to face the continual tension in the same room. there’s a reason why only married couples move in together. these huge commitments are not to be taken lightly.
5 years ago, i thought im a warm person regardless of my outlook or character.
but today, im sure im warm on the outside but cold on the inside.
if something goes wrong, or if i’m hurt.. i’ll be upset. i’ll cry. but i’ll move on. within a short period of time.. mind you, it’s not that i don’t care at all. by not allowing myself to hurt for too long is how i cope with my emotions.
the ability to pull myself out emotionally from a situation allows me to assess the situation much clearly than when im at the peak of my emotions; and emotions get in the way for logical thinking (not that i really am damn logical though).
emotional detachment has became my strength. and i like the way i am now. much more than i did 5 years ago.
Some say i’ve changed, but my reply to them was, “who doesn’t?”
to be beautiful is to be yourself. you dont need to be accepted by others. you need to accept yourself.
-Book of Quotes
Two things people shouldn’t do:
1. Piss me off
2. Piss my family off
Either way, you’re stepping on my toes so don’t thing you’ll get away with it. I promise you, you’ll see a crazy bitch on the run.
Disrespect and inconsideration are no-nos when it comes to my family. If you’re going to take advantage of people’s kindness and reciprocate with such “gratitude” of yours, please be prepared for the repercussions. I’m not gonna take shit like that. And I promise you, I’m not good keeping my anger in given my short fuse and massive temper. So you’re gonna have a ball of a time when I do erupt. Actions speak louder than words, hell yeah. I’ll do before I speak. However, being the kind soul as I am, 2nd chances are permitted. Hence, after the 1st “session of civilised talk”, may you wake up your idea and not be such a pea-brainer. Thank you very much.
Oh, and just in case you think we’re fools. Don’t take us for one. I’ll do anything, and I do mean anything, to protect wat’s most important to me. Even if it means I have to become the crazy, ridiculous maniac, I will. So DON’T attempt to make a fool outta yourself instead just because I can’t bitch slap and kick you in your fucking face (while dirtying my own feet) now.
That being said, I’ll avoid anything to ruin my current ties. involvement won’t be in my dictionary… For now. But if needed, I will not run from confrontation as such.
Enjoy your little game while you can yea? You may have won the battle, but I’ll win the war. 
exam exam exam… upcoming exams..
and it doesnt help that my back is aching so badly these days.
doesnt help either that this back ache of mine comes from sitting down for too long while i’m studying.
doesnt help even more when this back ache is giving me a headache.
damn it. the temptation to go back to lie down on my bed to rest is so strong. but i dont have time to not study when exams start on the 15th.. yes, next tuesday. oh Buddha, please help me through this since my own physical body isnt helping.
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